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  His jaw dropped. “Are you actually looking for a number?”

  “Yes, I guess I am. If you can even count that high.” Lexa didn’t care if she sounded jealous. She loved teasing him as much as anything else.

  He shook his head, as if disbelieving she’d even suggest such a thing. “Okay, Miss Clarke, you want a number?” When she nodded, Sam made sure he had her full attention. First, he looked upward as though taking a mental count. Looking back at her, he raised two fingers.

  “You’re giving me the peace sign?” Lexa laughed. “Oh, I get it. You’re afraid to tell me how many. What is that, like a truce or something?”

  “It’s a number.” Sam’s voice was quiet, contemplative.

  Lexa swallowed hard and stared at him sitting there—so handsome, strong, wonderful. “You’ve only kissed two other women in your life?” How was that even possible?

  When Sam shook his head again, Lexa fully expected him to tell her he was teasing. She wouldn’t be surprised. It certainly seemed more logical.

  “No, not two other women. Two women total. And I’m sitting here tonight, against this tree, under the Texas sky, looking directly at one of them.” The words were slow, full of purpose. “And with God’s help, she’ll also be the last one.”

  With those indelible words stamped on her heart, Lexa reached for him, pulling this precious man toward her. Cupping his face between her hands, she planted a long, very lingering kiss on the sweetest man she’d ever meet.

  “Welcome home, Sam Lewis.”

  Chapter 35

  “I’m sorry I acted like such a jerk.”

  Again Lexa was surprised, but pleasantly so, by the turn of events.

  Pulling Rebekah into a quick embrace, Lexa hugged her tight. “That’s okay. I understand. You had quite a bitter pill to swallow.” She released her. “I was afraid you might leave the camp after the meeting with Sam. I’m glad you stayed. I’ve . . . I’ve been praying for you.” A couple of months ago, she’d never have said something like that. Now, the words practically rolled off her tongue, and it was natural to talk about such things.

  “Call me Beck. My close friends do.” She gave her a small smile.

  “Thanks, Beck.” Lexa returned the smile. “Have you heard from Josh yet?”

  Rebekah nodded, a shadow crossing her face. “Yes, thank the Lord. He’s finally back home. I asked him about Shelby, and he broke down and confessed everything. Our pastor back in Louisiana is going to counsel him about his, uh, problem. He’s going to take some time off for a while, and get the help he needs, like Sam said. Law school will have to wait.” She shrugged. “It’ll be there when he’s ready. I can’t believe my own twin is a . . . a sex addict,” she whispered, her cheeks coloring with embarrassment.

  Lexa wasn’t quite successful at hiding her shocked surprise. There had certainly been a lot of those lately. Enough for a good long while. “I don’t know if I’d call him a sex addict because of one affair.”

  “There have been others. Lots, apparently.” Rebekah’s eyes traveled to the floor. “Shelby was only one in a long string of girls.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed.” Recovering her composure, Lexa draped an arm around the other girl’s shoulder. “From what I understand, it’s an addiction like anything else—drugs, alcohol, prescription drugs, and any number of things. Josh is a good man and . . .”

  “But for a Christian man, it’s especially embarrassing,” Rebekah interrupted. “We have a responsibility to model Christ-like behavior. What use are we if we’re known to be a Christian and then go around acting like some kind of wild, untamed beast?” Her words sounded bitter.

  She glanced back up at Lexa. “I’m sorry. I’m taking out my frustrations with Josh on you. That’s not fair. I still have a lot to resolve in my own mind, I guess. I’m mad as blazes at him right now, but I’ll get over it. When I get home next week, I’m going to take the time to get reacquainted with my brother.” She shook her head. “Apparently, there’s a lot I don’t know about him. And a lot I should know.”

  “I’m sure you want to do whatever’s necessary to help Josh. Your encouragement will mean the world to him.” Lexa squeezed her shoulder.

  “Right.” Rebekah sniffled and wiped away a few tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m just thankful you weren’t his next conquest. I knew the fight between Josh and Sam had something to do with you, but I couldn’t be sure. At first, I thought Sam was upset when he lost his chance with you and was jealous because Josh was obviously interested. But now I know that Sam was protecting your honor, standing up for you.” Rebekah stopped, making sure she had Lexa’s eye contact. “I hope you know that man loves you.”

  Lexa’s breath caught in her throat. “Did Sam tell you this?”

  Rebekah squeezed her hand. “He didn’t have to. Remember, I know the man pretty well.”

  “Are you going to talk with Sam? Set things right between you again?”

  The beginnings of a smile curved Rebekah’s lips. “I can’t stay mad at Sam for long. I’m sure you know that’s impossible. I’ve already apologized to him for saying those awful things.” Her eyes glazed, and she shook her head. “I’ve never acted like that in my life, never said such horrible things. I love Sam, and I never meant to hurt him. That’s the last thing in the world I wanted.” Her eyes filled with quick tears. “But I couldn’t believe that Josh had an affair with Shelby. I’m still having a hard time with it.”

  “Sam knows you were hurt. You were reacting to the shock of hearing about Josh, but you didn’t mean to take it out on him.”

  Rebekah grabbed her hand, and Lexa held on tight. “Thanks for not being mad at me. You do love Sam, don’t you?”

  Lexa didn’t answer, but her smile probably gave away any secrets she hoped to hide.

  ~~**~~

  “Sam, I’ve made my decision.” Although he’d been detained, Sam finally dropped down to sit beside her a short time later. He sounded tired but enthusiastic about the positive response he’d received to his message that night.

  “What? No small talk first?” Sam stretched out and released a contented sigh. He patted the spot next to him and pulled her close.

  “Please, Sam. I have to get it out now or I won’t be able to do it at all.” Lexa was afraid to look over at him, afraid of his reaction. She stared down at her hands twisting together in her lap. “This is hard enough.” Unbidden tears suddenly blinded her, threatening to spill over.

  “Well, that doesn’t exactly sound like good news.” He was quiet, but Lexa could see the tightness in his jaw when she dared to glance in his direction.

  “You’re not coming with me, are you?” He sounded disappointed, hurt.

  She shook her head, her heart heavy. “I don’t see how I can. Please know that it’s not that I don’t want to. You know what you want to do with your life. You seem so confident, so strong, so sure, and TeamWork suits your talents and interests. You’ve done it a lot longer than I have, and you’re used to the lifestyle. To be honest, I’m not sure I could take it for an entire year, living out of a suitcase, not knowing if I’d be transferred to another project at a moment’s notice.”

  “It’s not exactly like that,” Sam protested.

  “You know what I mean.” Lexa shifted her position. “I’ve been praying about it a lot. Maybe I need to grow more in my own spiritual walk.” She hesitated, and lowered her voice. “Whatever it is, I know the time isn’t right for me to go running around the world at this point in my life.”

  “Plus, you don’t want to feel like you’re following a man.” When he looked over at her, Sam’s expression was hard to read. “Admit it, Lexa. In case things don’t work out between us, you don’t want to feel . . . stuck.” His eyes met hers. “Not that I think that’s going to happen.”

  Lexa stiffened. “I guess that’s part of it, but only a small part. Security’s a big thing for me. I never told you, but I may not have a job at Alamo World Financial when I go back to Houston. When I l
eft, they couldn’t promise my position would still be there waiting for me.”

  “You gave up your job to come here?” Sam’s voice was quiet, disbelieving. Reaching out with one hand, he anchored it under her chin, forcing her to look at him.

  “Not exactly. But sort of,” she stammered. “I didn’t want you to think I was completely crazy,” she admitted with a shrug.

  He sighed. “That wasn’t crazy. It was incredibly brave. I wish I’d known.”

  “Why? What difference would it have made?”

  Sam looked at her a long time before slowly shaking his head. “Maybe you were following your dream like I’m trying to do by going on this overseas mission.”

  Lexa nodded. “I think the Lord is leading both of us. We have to be brave enough and smart enough to follow where He leads. You’re obviously doing that, and I’m trying to do it, too.” She shrugged. “Even though I might not have a job when I go back to Houston, I don’t feel like going overseas with TeamWork is the right thing, either.”

  Even though it would be with you! She felt like screaming. Lexa’s heart was heavy, and her eyes filled with tears. How could she agree to go when Sam couldn’t find the words to tell her he loved her? Sadness threatened to carry her away in a sea of tears.

  “I’ll pray your job is still waiting for you in Houston.”

  “If it’s not, I’ll be okay.” Lexa lifted her chin. “This TeamWork assignment has shown me that I’ll be okay. No matter what happens. I trust the Lord to take care of me and my needs. I know I won’t have a problem finding something else. It might not even be in financial planning.”

  “What then?” Curiosity lifted his brow.

  “I have absolutely no idea. Maybe I’ll become a pie maker and learn how to bake the best peach and apple pies in the world.”

  Leaning over, Sam pressed his lips to hers, allowing his lips to linger. “I think that sounds like a very delicious idea. I like a sweet girl, too, you know. To balance out the sassiness and the spice.”

  Lexa swallowed hard. She couldn’t smile when her heart hurt so much. “Sam, you know how much I care for you, but I’m not sure how much of a future we can share with our differences in what we want from life, in our dreams and goals for the future.” Her voice caught and she blinked hard to stem the flow of tears.

  He didn’t speak for a long moment. With his face bathed in the moonlight, he watched her with an expectant look. “Tell me about your dreams, your goals for the future. Tell me what it is that you really want, Lexa. You’ve avoided that question when I’ve asked before, you know. Time to tell me.”

  Lexa’s eyes searched his before finally opening her mouth. Finding it suddenly dry, she swallowed hard and tried to find an explanation. “I suppose I want what everyone wants,” she said slowly. “A home, family, love . . .” her voice trailed. “After being here with TeamWork the past few weeks, I know I want to grow in my knowledge and commitment of the Lord. There’s an awful lot that I don’t understand, but I want to understand. Does that make any sense to you?”

  “Yes. It makes perfect sense. Do you know what I want?” He leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head as though in a trance. “What do you want?”

  He sighed and opened his eyes. “I want whatever makes you happy.” All over again, he captured her heart. The man was uncommonly sensitive. Why couldn’t he tell her he loved her? That might be a big step toward making her even happier. Surely he sensed that.

  More than anything, Lexa wanted to reach out and take Sam’s hand in her own. She wanted to pour out her heart to this man and tell him that she wanted him, that she loved him. But how could she do that? Something inside kept her from reaching out, just as it always had. It was like some self-protective mechanism that triggered within her every time someone started to get too close. Lexa didn’t understand it, but it was undeniably a part of her. It only surfaced at the worst possible moments when she was just beginning to trust, snatching away hope and leaving her empty and lost instead of gloriously happy.

  “Don’t be afraid to reach out and grab what you want from life,” Sam told her, rising. “Let me walk you back to the dorm. I can’t walk away and leave you out here by yourself. There might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing lurking about somewhere.” He held out one hand and helped her to her feet.

  “Josh is gone so you don’t have to worry. I’m sorry,” she said a moment later, shaking her head with regret. “That comment was mean-spirited. I shouldn’t have said it.”

  “It’s okay. You’re right. I pray that Josh is getting the help he needs. He’s a good guy, but he just has a problem. Don’t we all?”

  Lexa detected more than a touch of irony. “Surely you don’t have problems, Mr. Lewis.” She forced her tone to be light and teasing although her heart felt like deadweight all of a sudden.

  Sam didn’t answer, but walked along in the dark, kicking up dust with every slow step. He certainly wasn’t in any hurry to leave her company, and in fact, seemed to dawdle purposely to keep it a little while longer. As they neared the dorm, Sam grabbed Lexa’s hand, pulling her to the side of the building and into his arms. She could feel his heart beating, strong and sure, as he held her so close she thought he might topple them both.

  “I don’t want to lose you,” Sam murmured, his lips on the top of her head. “I don’t think our goals, our dreams, are all that different. Ultimately, I want those same things, too. I guess I just need to work some of this wanderlust out of my system first. If you don’t want to go, I understand.” Pulling back and looking down at her, he sighed. “All I ask is that you wait for me. Can you do that?”

  “Oh, Sam,” Lexa croaked, overcome with emotion. Raising her arms and then letting them fall awkwardly to her sides, she stared at him, her expression helpless. Her arms ached from wanting to hold and be held, but she couldn’t.

  “A year isn’t the end of the world, you know,” he continued in a quiet voice, filling the void caused by her hesitation. Taking her hands in his, Sam kissed her fingers like he’d done the day in his office when she’d told him about Sheila and Howard.

  “I’ll have a little time in Houston before I find out my assignment with TeamWork. We can spend some time together, get to know each other better. Then we’ll take things a day at a time after that. I’ll make it work between us.” Stepping closer and reaching out to cup her face in one hand, Sam gazed at her with what Lexa could only call love in his shining eyes.

  “Two hearts designed by God meant to find one another will find each other, Lexa, no matter what.”

  Overcome with emotion, Lexa nodded, swallowing her tears. “No matter what?” she repeated, looking back up at him.

  Sam nodded. “No matter what,” he whispered, leaning over to plant the softest kiss in the world on her forehead. His lips grazed her skin like a feathery brush, and Lexa leaned into the kiss. But as soon as he kissed her, it was over and he walked away, faster now.

  Wrapping her arms about her, Lexa watched as he walked across the campsite to his own private quarters behind the office. It was almost as though Sam knew she was watching. When he reached the door, he turned and looked back at her. Reaching a hand up to his temple, he saluted. Lexa kissed her fingers and blew it in his direction. Although she couldn’t be sure, Lexa thought she saw him smile.

  Chapter 36

  Plans were underway for a farewell party scheduled the night before most of the volunteers were due to depart. Somehow, Lexa was on the list of party organizers even though she didn’t remember signing up. One of the other girls must have added her name to the list. Not that she minded.

  Lexa glanced down at the list of needed supplies. “Looks like we’ll need a lift into town later today.” She caught Winnie’s knowing grin. Finding reasons to visit Sam in his office had kept her preoccupied the last few days. Even if he sensed she was making up excuses to see him, she didn’t care. Finding her time with TeamWork drawing to a close,
she wanted every precious second with Sam to count. The thought of not being around him anymore made her extremely sad.

  Sam’s words about their being together if it was meant to be and designed by God reverberated in her mind. She loved Sam Lewis. She had no more doubts about that particular issue. And Sam must think he loved her since he’d asked her to join him with TeamWork, and then asked her to wait for him.

  But, the fact remained that Sam had never spoken the words aloud, never told her he loved her. Lexa ached to hear the words. But even if he told her he loved her, she wasn’t going to change her mind about going with him. Maybe he was the type of man who’d never be settled enough to marry, never be content to stay in one place for long. Somehow, though, Lexa’s heart wouldn’t allow her to believe it.

  “Winnie, Natalie and I need to go into town sometime tonight, if possible, to get supplies for the farewell party,” she announced after entering Sam’s office late one afternoon.

  Looking up from his paperwork, Sam shook his head. “Afraid I can’t, Lexa.” Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his hair. His voice was bothered, distracted. Removing his glasses, he rubbed his tired eyes.

  “No, you can’t or no you won’t?” she teased.

  “Very funny. I’m afraid I really can’t, as tempting an offer as it is.” Standing, Sam pushed aside the papers in the middle of his desk and faced her. His eyes were full of worry and his brow was furrowed.

  “What’s wrong?” Lexa hoped he’d share whatever made him so agitated.

  “Something’s wrong with the figures,” he murmured, shaking his head again. “The numbers aren’t adding up.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Someone’s pilfering money from the safe.”

  “I can’t believe that!” She didn’t bother hiding her shock. There was a thief among them in the TeamWork camp? She moved closer. “I don’t want to think anyone here at the camp would stoop to petty thievery. How much is missing?”